
To get you thinking about fresh starts, and warmer weather. =) I wish everyone a wonderful New Year.
I ran and fell, ran and fell. Then the river: so cold it felt sharp.
The river was the same blackness that was inside me; only the thin membrane of my skin kept me floating.
From the other bank, I watched darkness turn to purple-orange light above the town; the colour of flesh transforming to spirit. They flew up. The dead passed above me, weird haloes and arcs smothering the stars. The trees bent under their weight. I'd never been alone in the night forest, the wild bare branches were frozen snakes. The ground tilted and I didn't hold on. I strained to join them, to rise with them, to peel from the ground like paper ungluing at its edges. I know why we bury our dead and mark the place with stone, with the heaviest, most permanent thing we can think of: because the dead are everywhere but the ground. I stayed where I was. Clammy with cold, stuck to the ground. I begged: If I can't rise, then let me sink, sink into the forest floor like a seal into wax. -Anne Michaels, Fugitive Pieces
I fill my pockets and my hands with stones and walk into the river until only my mouth and nose, pink lilies, skim the air. Muck dissolves from my skin and hair, and it's satisfying to see floating like foam on the surface the fat scum of lice from my clothes. I stand on the bottom, my boots sucked down by the mud, the current flowing around me, a cloak in a liquid wind. I don’t stay under long. Not only because of the cold, but because with my ears under the surface, I can’t hear. This is more frightening to me than darkness, and when I can’t stand the silence any longer, I slip out of my wet skin, into sound. -Anne Michaels, Fugitive Pieces
Courting
Sun-caught espresso
The color of your hair
As you ran through the grasses,
Tall as your chin, golden and seeded
Low whistles when the wind pushes them back
Bending the stalks but never breaking
Just as you always bend my thoughts,
Curling them around your thumb
Like a stray wisp of your silk-threaded dress.
We've spent hours here
Before this pond,
All the while dipping our toes into the cool,
The ebbs of shadows and flickering sky reflection
Upon your face, a dance of light
And I wondered what brush the artist would use
To capture the curl of your bang
Or the feathered gleam of your smile.
You leave me always crawling,
A star with no north to
Guide me,
And so we swim in the wilds,
Leave our clothes on the grassy bank
And pull leeches from our feet as the air pimples
Our skin.
We've come a long way from home
But I know afternoons never fade--
In some heart of time I know there is no present
Because there is no constant tock
From which we drag ourselves.
Even peering into the wrinkles of our faces I
Will see you as I see you now
And not the hollow of your eyes
Staring back at me without thought
Fingers straining for the hand that never came to
Hold them and bring you back to air.
Yes, sun-caught espresso
The color of your hair
As you ran through the grasses,
And I wondered so long
Trying to capture the flicker of your soul,
And now here is all that is left,
The seeded gold grasses and prairie and oak,
The weathered wood rowboat tied to shore
Of a pond whose leech-gray waters have been so still,
And when I look into them no ebbing of light do I see--
Like a stray wisp of your silk-threaded dress,
My will also breaks
And the silent waters ripple once again.